Healing your Story - Recovering your true power

To live your purpose you must have faith in yourself. You must have a vision that leads you forward. You need courage and persistence because the ego will try hard to distract you from your purpose and put every obstacle in your way.

Recently I have received emails from people saying they don't have enough money. They can be very gifted and good at what they do, but are struggling, are burnt out and feel like giving up.

The subconscious story they are reflecting is the Sacrifice Story. I know this because this is a story I have just healed (after 14 years of working at it!). So be gentle on yourself if this is your story. It's very deep and has many layers some of which are buried in the unconscious. That's why it can take many processes over time to completely heal.

1st principle: Being in Sacrifice is giving without receiving
Do you recognise that you might be in a place of sacrifice to your family, friends, colleagues or clients? Always giving to them, going out of your way to help but never getting appreciated or rewarded? If the answer is yes, then ask, after all the years of you being in sacrifice, how much better are they?

Chuck Spezzano says "Sacrifice is a psychological mistake in which we give but we don't receive. It's a role that compensates for feelings of failure, guilt and unworthiness."

2nd Principle: Sacrifice is an attempt to pay off guilt
Its a place where we have gone into service (which is more like slavery!) and stopped loving ourself. It can be a defence against a loss that we haven't recovered from. So we help others as a form of avoidance, so we don't have to feel that pain. This is the role of the Wounded Healer.

We can feel angry at others for failing us, so we feel we have to take on their role in the family. However deep down we believe we have failed them. This means we feel guilty. This is a family pattern that gets carried into adulthood.

3rd Principle: Sacrifice is afraid of the intimacy that brings equality
If you are telling a sacrifice story that you lose so that others can win, you are creating an unequal relationship of loser/winner. If you lose, then sooner or later you'll seek revenge on the winner (this can be unconscious). Plus the winner dislikes being with a loser, so after a while will dump them or bully them to take their place. Sacrifice is an excuse to stay small and hide. It becomes a conspiracy, which is a trap so well set up it looks like there's no way out. It hides our real fear of taking the next step in our life and buries the gifts we need for our purpose.

When did it begin?
As a child we see our family in trouble, leave our centre and go to save them. The sacrifice that comes from leaving our centre is ineffective at least, and self-destructive at worst. The ego attempts to replace the bonding that is lost when we leave our centre with fusion - a blurring of your boundaries with another. This pattern then gets repeated in later years, and can be especially true for many healers and therapists. If you feel as if you have a weight on your shoulders this could be your pattern. You're carrying people. It's called The Atlas Syndrome, since Atlas carried the world on his shoulders.

Its important to know that there is no relationship that doesn't have an element of sacrifice in it. So how do we deal with it? The answer is we have to heal it.

Ask yourself, when was the first time you stepped off your centre and went into sacrifice? Another way of putting it is, when did you lose your power? To whom did you give it?

We keep recreating the family conspiracy for fear of screwing up, of failing. While we are distracted by trying to save our family we can't possibly live our purpose.

EXERCISE Centering technique
Ask yourself intuitively on a scale of 0 -100% how far off your centre you became. (Our centre is a place of innocence, grace, and true value.  It is a place where we follow the guidance within.)

If you have moved off your centre 0-29% there was a level of illusion and mistaken responses in your life that occurred. 

From 30-79% off your centre, you went into higher and higher levels of sacrifice. 

From 80 to 99% off your centre, there were levels of self-destructiveness.

At 100%, or more, there was a death of a self or selves. This means that you are living a life that is so far off from your true self that it would be almost impossible to have success and happiness.  

That might explain a lot, it certainly did for me when I uncovered and finally healed the root of this trap with the support of my coach and mentor.

Plus, if you got even a small percentage off your centre in the womb, it would set up a self-destructive pattern! And that's before you were even born! This is an unconscious pattern and really hard to know about on a conscious level. That's where I can help with one to one coaching. More info on my website>.  

To heal the story
To remove your heartbreak, guilt, and self-destructive patterns, you must return to your centre. In the original situation where you lost your centre, ask for your their Higher Power, or your Higher Mind, to carry you back to your centre, along with the others in the situation. 

Coaching Session with Pam
If you find this difficult to do on your own, I offer powerful coaching sessions where I help you get to the root of these shocks and traumas.  My fee is £70 for one hour and a quarter. Email me at pam@yoursoulpurpose.co.uk or call me on 01273 380 019 for a chat to find out if you'd like to work with me.  I live in East Sussex and work very effectively on the phone. (I am on Skype which is a free phone service if you are long distance or you live outside the Uk).

with warmest wishes,

ASTROLOGY NOTE
Now that Mars is in the sign of Cancer its time to heal our family stories. Mars represents courage  and passion, which are essential to live our purpose, but also anger and fights. If we don't release and heal the source of our anger it can get repressed and turn inward, thus doing damage to the body in the form of stress or chronic illness. Available at the Psychology of Vision website shop is a great e-book on Healing the Body Through Mind and Metaphor by Janie Ticehurst and Chuck Spezzano (download version) for only £11.83. More astrology information on Mars on my website www.healingstars.com

Chuck Spezzano has written a book and cards called 'The Conspiracy Pack'. Brilliant cards and exercises to create a positive life. "We cannot be happy unless we know ourselves.  The Conspiracy Deck is a great tool for finding what has been deeply hidden, yet is still stopping us.  If you choose, the cards will return your power back to where it belongs - to you!" Only £14.99 see http://psychologyofvision-shop.com