How to have a happy Christmas - make time to let go

At this time of year there's all the excitement, stress and tension of Christmas. There are a lot of expectations of having a good time yet for many it's a time of disappointment and loneliness. As December is the last month of the year and the Winter Solstice represents the turning point, I believe that Christmas is intended to be a celebration that the light is increasing, the darkness is coming to an end.

However a question to ask yourself is:
How many good Christmas holidays have you had? How many awful ones?

I bet the bad ones stay in your mind longer. If we dread Christmas that we most probably will have a dreadful time. Our believe system comes from our past experiences.

So how to change that?

This month's principle is simple and powerful. You may have used it before. If so, take this opportunity to let go of some of your attachments in a true, meaningful way. Letting go makes your life easier and allows you to open yourself up to more love and joy in your life. The light can truly arrive in the depths of winter.

What or whom do you need to let go of?
The longer we hold on to something or someone, the more we lose. On a scale of 0-100% how much are you holding on to:-

• A past lover. We might stay trapped in a fantasy that 'they' might return. Dream lovers also come into this category. If we have a fantasy the ego says we have a lover so there's no need to attract a real lover.

• Someone we loved who died. (Or a beloved pet). Mourning is natural, but if you find you have a tendency to dwell in melancholy there might be a part of you that is using death to hold yourself back from embracing life.

• Past hurts and grievances, especially against partners and family members. Forgiveness means forth giving or giving to oneself. Also the principle of acceptance that what happened, happened.

• A role you might be caught in. Roles keep us stuck, so we are not our true authentic selves. We assume them in childhood to save our family. They come up at Christmas when the family comes together. Typical roles are that of the martyr and charmer who both vie for attention.

Those are the negatives. We also need to let go of the positive experiences we've had!

• A time in your life when you were successful. It may be a fairly recent success and accolade or way back in childhood. However the principle applies that if we hold onto good things in the past then it prevents success in the present.

• Your present partner (if you have one) or any person you might be attached to who you think might give you something. (With the worthy exception of Santa Claus) If we think of people as being put on this earth to make us happy we will be disappointed. Instead remember that the more you give - unconditionally -then the more you will receive.

Chuck Spezzano says:-
"In any relationship, the more we hold on, the more we lose our attractiveness and in this way we become a burden on our partner. If we are willing to let go of everything we think should be, the relationship can reach a new level of partnership."

EXERCISE Letting Go
This is done with a friend and is a graceful and simple healing exercise. i have done it dozens of times and it always amazes me what I discover as I do it. Ask how many situations/people/ things you need to let go of.

Stand at least six feet away from your friend who represent the real you, your true self. Look into their eyes and very slowly take a step toward them. This is not a race! With each step let go of the past, the old wounds, the exes, the dreams you had of how life should be. Let go of the roles you have assumed, the burdens you carry, the past awful Christmases.

When you reach your friend embrace them. Take some time to share how you now feel, then reverse positions and repeat the exercise.

It is so important to let go we need to do it on a regular basis.

I wish you a very happy holiday and look forward to sharing more newsletters with you in the new year. See below for my special offer to you, my subscriber.

with warmest wishes,